silence please

i loose count of how many fists landed up on the wall of my bedroom. the light is off, automobile lights keeps showing through the window from time to time. I lie down on the floor, legs stretched, head bent down, hands folded behind my neck. am i sobbing for some reason? i dont remember. I need water. i go to the dining table where cold drink bottles are kept filled with water. i take one and pour water till i feel like puking. i keep it aside, still uncapped and sit down on the couch. I look up at the ceiling and think of laughing at it for no apparent or hidden reasons, just laughing histerically, pulling out the fan from the ceiling, pulling out all the wires attached to it. i start breathing heavily. i close my eyes and keep breathing heavily. i got used to it in no time and felt normal again. automobile lights flashes through the window curtains again it was dark within no time. there is a sudden thought of emptiness inside me. it sounds like an empty tin can kicked by someone walking on the road. it rolls on the road towards the inclination, making a tinkering sound, stops after a while, and there it is, silence again, ever so unsympathetic, tormenting me from head to toe. i am in freaking pain. i turn on the music, loud, still loud, it stays there with me, longer, longer still. i drank water again till i felt like puking. i turn off the music. i am tired. i lie down on the mattress spread on the ground, folding myself into an embryo. i dont remember anything. i am asleep. it is still there. silence.