an old one...somehow it was not deleted by me..

looking at nothingness of the dark my mind was filled with some thoughts. probably darker than the darkness of night. and i found no stars to guide me through that dark path. i was thinking about the day before on the railway station. this was not the first time that i had been in such a situation. i was buying some eatables from a howker. An urchin came upto me and asked for something to eat. he reminded me of countless occasions when i had seens those unknown faces in the crowd. and by the time i cud delve deeper into my thoughts he demanded again. this time with a little hesitation. i gave him whatever i had in m y hand. he walked away pleasantly thrusting whatever i gave in his half torn pocket. i tried to concentrate on the magazine i was reading. i cud not find any single interesting article in it. with nothing else to do i leaned against the window and started watching the crowd. a few hurrying past the train and a few like me just looking at the crowd. that face again appeared somewhere from the crowd following the same set of procedures which he used with me. after a few denials he hit the jackpot again. at one time i thought why is he doing this when he has got enough to eat. i strongly disapproved his action. and this time i cud find time enough to go deeper in my thoughts. is it always the situation that forces a person to do what he is doing? doesn't his self reminds him or provokes him to think about what he is doing? probably marred by the harsh conditions of his life he is never able to think about it. And people as well hardly ever think about them as well never wanting to trouble themselves with the burden of these thoughts, dismissing them as just another trouble hounding them. Do they not deseve to live a better life? Do they not deserve to dream? Or their expectations from life is as little as we think it to be insufficient for a living? Do I sound like a fucking humanitarian? Still my problem is that i cannot stop myself from thinking about them too much and too often.